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BOOK : When Love is Lost: Cases from the Family Courts of a changing India By Kalyani Sardesai

Posted on January 29, 2025 By

Pune (Maharashtra) [India], January 29:Besides, Indian society has always treated marriage as an inviolable institution. We pride ourselves on our low divorce rates, possibly the lowest in the world—just 1. 1 per cent annually. And yet, UN reports indicate that divorce rates in India have multiplied twofold since the advent of the millennium. Two contradictory realities that co-exist. What’s more, if our low divorce rates are a fact, so too are India’s high number of dowry and domestic violence cases. Additionally, the report also points to the phenomenon of a grey divorce, that is divorces among people after decades of marriage.

Why is this happening? The reasons range from irreconcilable differences to changing societal norms, refusal of empowered women to stick on with abusive relationships as they traditionally did, and sometimes even the misuse of legal mechanisms such as Section 498A of the IPC by different parties.

As relationships head south, including marriages of several decades, they show up for the final reckoning in the Family Court— an institution that bears mute testimony to an unparalleled range of cases. From the heartrending to the cruel and bizarre, these stories spotlight the hidden crevices and contradictions of a society in rapid transition.

Through candid, first-person narratives combined with legal insight, When Love is Lost: Cases from the Family Courts of a Changing India by journalist-writer Kalyani Sardesai sheds light on the emotional and psychological toll of separation and divorce, as experienced by men, women, and lawyers in the eye of the storm.

Additionally, counselors, lawyers, and mediators weigh in with valuable inputs on conflict resolution within marriage. “Thus, the book offers an unflinching view of today’s domestic battles and the socio-legal landscape that shapes them. It not only examines different cases of divorce ranging from adultery and bigamy to domestic violence, abandonment, fraud, but also provides information on the legal aspects of splitting marriages, and knowledge of an estranged spouse’s rights as enshrined in the law,” says Sardesai.

Highlights:

  • One-of-its kind research book cum relationship guide on modern-day marital relationships with the law as a cornerstone. Authored by journalist-writer Kalyani Sardesai
  • First person narrations recounting emotional cost of divorce + legal insights
  • A documentation of the changing face of Indian marriages post 2000.
  • UN reports show number of divorces have gone up by two-fold since advent of millennium

Sardesai’s interest in the Family Courts has its genesis in her stint as a journalist covering the Family Court for various national dailies. “As a reporter and writer, one is always interested in stories that reflect changing trends and shifts in priorities. The institution of marriage is a leading example of the same,” she says. “No longer is it a case of ‘till death do us apart’. Women are increasingly vocal about their rights, refusing to put with abuse as they traditionally did. Add to that the stresses of modern day living and the increased emphasis on individuality as opposed to prioritising the family unit above all. On the other hand, there are those who abuse the provisions meant to protect them. When children are involved, battle lines are drawn even more tightly,” she says.

A well-rounded, comprehensive take covering different communities and socio-economic strata of society, each narration is different, but what runs like a common thread through them all, is the emotional cost of the courtroom battle and subsequent outcome.

Section I has 24 first person accounts of the narrators along with the relevant legal information. The cases in the book cut across various communities and socio-economic strata and include instances of LGBTQ as well as live-in relationships.

Meanwhile, Section II of the book has mediators, lawyers, counsellors, married and estranged couples sharing valuable perspectives on the battles worth fighting—for not every divorce is a bad thing, and some issues indeed deserving of a firm stand.

“When Love is Lost is thus a unique relationship guide for navigating marital relationships with the law as a cornerstone,” rounds off Sardesai.

When Love is Lost: Cases from the Family Courts of a changing India is available on Amazon at Rs 275.

No of pages: 187

Publisher: Vishwakarma Publications

About the author : Kalyani Sardesai is a Pune-based journalist, corporate trainer, copywriter and documentary writer. A keen observer of social trends, she is always interested in analysing changing socio-cultural-economic paradigms.

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3 Punyakatha: The story of a million years ( A coffee table book on the history of Pune and the Deccan Plateau from well before the stone age till date).

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6. Child of My Heart: A Comprehensive Guide to Adoption in India. (A one of its kind 360 degree view of the adoption process and how it works in India.)

Disclaimer: Views expressed above are the author’s own and do not reflect the publication’s views.

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